I spent a few days this week visiting one of my sisters who lives out of state. When I am in her home I know better than to expect special treatment. I'm not “Fr. Alan.” In that house my role is to be free entertainment for my eleven year old niece. She is an avid, and merciless, board game player. My role is to be the gracious loser. You probably see in your own experiences how family ties differ significantly from relationships outside the family.

In a like manner, there were two codes of conduct that governed people's lives in Jesus' time. One code dictated how strangers were to be treated, and the other dictated how family members were to be treated; both were considered inviolable.

There was a very strong cultural obligation of hospitality that was owed to strangers. Hospitality was extended to any and all travelers, and it was done because of a sense of reciprocity. One never knew when one might have to travel outside of one's home territory. To do so was a very risky undertaking, as was illustrated in last week's Gospel reading, the Parable of the Good Samaritan. When away from home it was necessary to rely on the hospitality of strangers in order to return home safely. Showing hospitality to strangers was a means of guaranteeing hospitality for oneself in the future.

There was an even stronger cultural obligation owed to family members. The bond between family members superseded almost all other social bonds. The familial bond was called, alternately, loving-kindness or faithfulness. This familial bond required one to do anything, and everything, possible for the good of one's relatives. It was not motivated a sense of reciprocity, as was hospitality to strangers. Rather, it was motivated by a sense of the mutual pride and security that was afforded by family life.

The first reading gives us an example of the differences between these two codes of conduct. Abram greeted the three strangers, and offered them the requirements of hospitality, in this case, shelter from the day's heat, water and food. The angels in disguise offered Abram God's loving kindness; they promised that Abram would have an heir. This is the beginning of the development of a covenantal relationship between God and Abram; the covenant formed a new 'family relationship' between God and Abraham.

These two codes of conduct are also at work in the Gospel reading, but in a much more subtle way. Jesus comes to dinner at some friends' home. Martha goes about fulfilling the required duties of hospitality that had to be shown to non-relatives. Mary, on the other hand, shirks the duties of hospitality, and sits at Jesus' feet while he speaks.

Martha's complaint is as much about Jesus as it is about Mary. Martha treats Jesus with hospitality, while Mary treats Jesus with loving-kindness, as if he was a relative. Martha's complaint is that Jesus is not being a good guest. Rather, he is expecting to be treated like a family member.

Jesus expected those whom he called to discipleship to sever their other ties of allegiance, and give their complete allegiance to him. Three weeks ago we heard some of his teaching about the demands of discipleship. "And to another he said, 'Follow me.' But he replied, 'Lord, let me go first and bury my father.' But he answered him, 'Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' And another said, 'I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.' To him Jesus said, 'No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God'." (Luke 9:59-62)

Jesus demands that all of his disciples give him their unconditional obedience. In the Scriptures, this is called 'faith.' Mary was willing to put her complete faith in Jesus. Martha preferred to keep Jesus at a safe distance.

We often have the same complaint today that Martha made about Jesus. We are made uncomfortable by the Lord's demands. We would rather pick and choose the parts of God's will that we are willing to follow. We would rather be in a relationship of reciprocity with God rather than a relationship of unconditional faithfulness.

Discipleship, however, is not a relationship based on the exchange of temporary benefits; it is a life's commitment. Jesus promises that the “better part” is reserved for those who are unconditionally faithful.